Authenticity - How Genuine is Your Business To Others?

 Three hundred Spartans, at war against a million Persians. The battle is ancient, but the movie is modern. When "300" was released in early 2007, the epic war film of the Battle Of Thermopylae, the critics were appalled; blood, gore, devoid of a plot, and 'more severed meat than you'd find in a Brazilian steakhouse,' they howled.

Then the movie opened. Consumers responded. And in two days' time, the critic's words were like the Persians, lying in bloody heaps on the ground. People loved the movie; they passionately spread the word to their friends and their cyberfriends, in their blogs, and on their online forums. They ignored the critics, if they had ever heard them at all, and showed up at the theatres in droves.

For a movie slated for mediocrity by the experts, "300" grossed $70 million in its first weekend, far outpacing the second-place movie at $27 million. With its release on DVD and in rental outlets, it has gone on to gross over $300 million in its first nine months.

What the critics forgot was that they aren't the movie-going public. You are.

Consumers are now in love with authentic communication that is unfiltered and unbiased. The explosion of electronic communication like text messaging, IM, and blogs provide strong evidence that hype is no longer hip. Reality TV, the ultimate unfiltered mass entertainment vehicle of the new millennium, is the anti-script. The stars are now everyday people, and the influencers are now consumers with keyboards.

People care what others with similar interests think, and it has never been easier to discover what they are thinking, what they like, and what they don't like. This is the new advertising; it's word-of-mouth to the millionth power.

Ironically, the more we communicate in open, honest "wiki" ways, the more we become repulsed by hype and empty promises, as consumers and as business owners. Those salespeople stuck in the tired, plaid tactics of the past are finding it harder and harder to sell with Reality. They wave their arms around, obliviously blaming the economy, the competition, and the new guy for their lack of results.

Those who have found Authenticity are winning.

Authenticity equals reality in the corporate world. Being genuine in what you do, the promises you make, and who you are is what authenticity entails. Authenticity, unlike charisma or charm, may be learned through practice. Discovering your Authentic tale entails utilizing your assets, creating an original story, being open and honest, and remaining consistent.

The Four Laws of Authenticity were established to assist you in discovering - or re-discovering - that great, powerful, and GENUINE tale that the public craves today. These Four Laws - The Law of Freedom, The Law of Originality, The Law of Transparency, and The Law of Repeatability - are essential for you to study and comprehend if you want to be seen as someone who others can trust.

You and your business become more fascinating when you become authentic. You become considerably more adept at initiating discussions. You'll figure out how to connect your personal experiences to your sales pitch. You keep your attention on the brand characteristics that meet your clients' needs. And you get better at whatever it is you're doing.

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Heading for a Breakup? Try Working on Communication First

 We've all been there: we find ourselves repeating the same argument with a loved one, going in circles, and occasionally resorting to name-calling, blaming, and yelling in an attempt to be heard. We're frustrated, yet we can't seem to stop or find a new method to communicate.

The Conflict Cycle

One of us stomps fiercely, while the other withdraws into stone stillness. We still care, but we're at a loss as to how to put an end to these vexing disagreements. We may decide that it's a sign that we're not meant to be together and end the relationship as a result. Is this really necessary? Is there another way to deal with these difficulties, a new method of talking that can help the partnership survive?

Nonviolent Communication

Marshall Rosenberg, the author of "Nonviolent Communication: the Language of Life" states that all humans are the same in their basic makeup and approach to life. Rosenberg states that human interaction is based on universal needs, feelings, and strategies to get our needs meet. Examples of universal feelings are happiness, sadness, confusion, and anger. Some universal needs are love, security, the need to be understood, and the need for trust. Conflict happens when we identify the other person's conduct rather than seeking to understand our own and our partner's feelings and needs. For example, if our partner arrives late, we may label him or her "inconsiderate" and say things like "you never consider my feelings."! The other person answers "You're always nagging me!" and "I can't do anything right with you!" This is an example of communication that drives people apart because it is based on judging and labeling, instead of stating needs and feelings.

Communicating Without Blaming

For Rosenberg, the key to better communication would be for each person to identify their needs and feelings. The angry partner could say "I'm angry you because I need to feel like you care enough to call when you will be home. I'm frightened that something might have happened to you." The other partner might respond "I feel angry when you call me inconsiderate because you didn't even ask me why I was late. I had a last-minute assignment at work. I feel afraid because when you're angry I worry that you will leave me." This is an example of communication without "labeling" which means placing value judgments on another person's behavior (in other words, blaming). 

Learn to Connect

Rosenberg's model of communication is an excellent tool for couples struggling with communication. Before you give up on your relationship, try working on the language you use with each other. With practice, you may find that changing the words you use can help revive the intimacy you are longing for.

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Authenticity Over Skills

 Why do you have what you need right now to be a great communicator?

The genuine relief and emotion on the faces of the rescued Chilean miners and their families were priceless. I was moved to tears as they thanked the men that had brought them to the surface after 69 days underground.

The power of a moment like that is unforgettable, and the visceral reaction that it can evoke is a reminder of the powerful connection that we humans share. It is this connection that is the conduit for excellent communicators. Authenticity will always draw us in more than honed skills or practiced rhetoric.

For example, just the other night, my friend shared the incredible experience of hearing Mother Theresa speak at a Presidential Prayer Breakfast in Washington, D.C. years ago. The picture at this meeting is the leaders from churches and representatives of organizations from around the world. Of course, our President and First Lady (at this time it was President Clinton) are there seated at the dais as Mother Theresa speaks:

Not with her movements or oratory talents, but with her simplicity of purpose and genuine feeling, she grabs this audience of hundreds of people. Her compassion for children and enthusiasm for her work captivates an audience that has been listening to political speeches practically every day for decades.

Mother Theresa, who is soft-spoken and modestly clad, is regarded as one of the most riveting keynote speakers in the history of the Presidential Prayer Breakfasts.

I don't want to minimize the importance of lessons taught; skills are crucial. I teach kids on a daily basis, but sincerity is the most important factor in connecting on an emotional level that is remembered.

Allow yourself to be unconcerned about what others think of you, your dress, your hair, or your business expertise, and instead convey your passion openly. You'll not only feel more connected, but you'll also have a sense of freedom that you'll never want to give up after you've had it!

This may appear to be easier said than done. It may take the assistance of a coach to overcome any assumptions or concerns that are preventing you from becoming a fully authentic communicator, but it will be well worth it!

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What Communication Skills Are Employers Looking For?

 I've collected a few pet peeves when it comes to interviewer vs. interview applicant encounters through the years in various administrative and management positions. Many lessons were taught to me as a result of these experiences, which I gladly pass on to others. One of my pet peeves is going over a candidate's resume and seeing that one of their greatest strengths is communication abilities, but the resume and application letter are full of misspelled words and a variety of other difficulties. When I sensed a bit of potential in a candidate, I would sometimes, but very rarely, invite them in for an interview, and one of my first queries would be, "Tell me about your good communication skills?" They almost always began by elaborating on their verbal communication, and they practically never included other communication skills such as writing or listening.

Communication abilities are placed #1 among job hopefuls' must-have skills and qualifications, according to a 2010 poll by the National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE). The point is that you can't just say you're good at communicating; you have to be able to demonstrate it.

While companies are searching for a variety of communication abilities, I would list the following as the top communication talents.

I'm sure you've heard the term "interpersonal skills" before. What does it mean to be able to communicate effectively with others? Interpersonal skills are those that we utilize when communicating with one or more individuals face to face. It's how we interact with others. Our interpersonal abilities determine the effectiveness of our communication.

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Tips to Communicate Change Effectively to Staff

 You may discover that explaining change is a difficult component of your job, as it is for many internal communicators. Change is an unavoidable part of life in today's world. Companies that are resistant to change may lose their competitive advantage.

Change is a complicated process. Change makes us feel endangered as human beings. But, ironically, without change, we may all still be living in caves. Change, we must agree, can be both thrilling and challenging since it fosters innovation and creativity. It's excellent for business, and it's also good for us. "Is it feasible to aid in change management without all the drama?" asks the inquiry.

It's critical to understand the psychology of change and your involvement in the process before you start conveying change. Change must be handled and communicated properly in order for it to be accepted rather than rejected.

Your senior management team is one of the more delicate regions to manage. They may be leading the change program, but they may struggle to communicate ideas in a way that is understandable to all employees. They may not even have a structure in place to manage change. Supporting your important stakeholders and making it easy for them to communicate successfully with staff at all levels is likely to be a part of your work.

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Authentic Communication

 When it comes to communication skills training, no matter who is doing it, a lot of the same information is taught (as long as the trainer is half-awake). Voice intonation and modulation, body language, the words used, props (visual aids, etc. ), eye contact, connection with the audience, understanding your audience, and so on are all covered in communication training. We accept all of these as ideas and tactics, but I was reminded this morning of the one most important factor in effective communication: authenticity.

On my way to a meeting with a client, I heard Adam Shaw interviewing Eddie Stobart's COO about his company's results, and the interview was so different from the bulk of interviewees (especially the most well-dressed politicians) that it remained in my mind.

The groomed politicians you hear on Today and other media outlets have typically received a lot of training, a lot of resources to help them communicate, and a lot of help creating their responses, ideas, and themes. We should be eating out of their hands if the basic substance of many communication training sessions is correct. I'm guessing we aren't...so clearly the suggestions, strategies, and styles they employ aren't enough to fully engage me.

Then came William Stobart on the radio. I'll admit that a pause in his response to the first question made me think I'd lost reception, but as the interview progressed, it became clear that he had a stammer, stutter, or some other form of hesitant speech (apologies for any incorrect terminology - it's not an area in which I profess to be an expert). This is something that you don't hear very often on the radio, and it's something that certain people and training organizations would want to iron out.

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Keeping the Lines of Communication Open Between Management and Staff

 "The lack of communication between management and employees was always a source of frustration for me. Management would make policy changes without informing employees. The employees would then be disciplined for not adhering to the new policy."

It's easy to create conclusions based on preconceptions when we look at people as titles and roles. Relationships are the purpose and energy behind all wonderful things, thus a lack of communication between people is stressful and depressing. Any lack of communication stems from a lack of comprehension, which is frequently the result of our unwillingness to be open with others because true communication necessitates risk. We run the risk of learning something that requires us to change our perspective, of acknowledging and feeling the emotional component of communication, and of discovering that we don't know the answer.

I'm thinking you're looking for practical solutions to your problem, so here are some suggestions for avoiding miscommunication and developing connections that promote real communication. Each suggestion is applicable to any employee, regardless of their formal position (management or staff) inside the firm.

1. Assume the best-case scenario. Recognize that communication is amazing rather than simple. The majority of people do not wake up one day and intend to inflict others pain. Most people want to accomplish good work, be a part of a solution and have meaningful interactions with others. So, if you think someone hasn't interacted with you, presume that they have tried and that you haven't received the message.

2. Put yourself in their shoes. Even if we can't see them, everyone has issues and struggles. And, rarely is a task as simple as it appears from the outside. Take the time to examine the other person's issues, worries, and ambitions when building a business relationship (important for good communication). Take a chance and ask them if you can't fathom what they're worried about.

3. Be the person you want them to be. If you want a coworker (which is what all employees are, regardless of their position) to keep you informed about policy changes, tell them what you want to know, how you prefer to get information, and make sure you communicate changes and updates with them. We make a lot of assumptions about what "should" and "might" happen, but we aren't always willing to do what we expect others to do.

Erika K. Oliver creates communication miracles by combining her expertise in marketing, public relations, interpersonal communication, facilitation, and project management with a joyful attitude. Erika works with both large and small businesses, with a focus on those with a social goal. Visit the author's website for more information.

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Introduction to Internal Family Systems Therapy

 Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a new type of treatment that is compassionate, inclusive, spiritual, deeply healing, and respectful of our inner lives. It acknowledges that our psyches are made up of various elements, which are frequently referred to as subpersonalities. They're like small people living inside of us. Each person has their own viewpoint, feelings, memories, objectives, and motives. For example, one part of you may want to reduce weight while another wants to eat whatever you want. Inner critics, abandoned children, pleasers, furious portions, and loving caregivers are all parts of us.

IFS has established that every portion, no matter how troublesome, has a constructive intention for you. For example, Bill has a part of him that is critical of others and competitive with them in ways that are inconsistent with his genuine ideals. When he came to know that portion, he realized it was only attempting to make him feel better about himself in the only way it knew how—by making him feel superior to others.

It is not necessary to grant a portion power just because you recognize that it has a positive goal. Bill doesn't want his role to come out as competitive and judgemental. Bill, on the other hand, can relate to his parts with empathy and appreciation while taking efforts to heal them utilizing the IFS technique. This is radically different from how we normally interact with our components. The first thing we usually do when we become aware of a portion is to analyze it. Is it beneficial or harmful to our health? We embrace it and give it power. if we think it's a good idea. We try to suppress or eliminate it if we determine it is detrimental. A section, on the other hand, cannot be removed. You have no choice except to push it into your unconscious, where it will continue to impact you without your knowledge.

We do something completely unique and innovative at IFS. With curiosity and compassion, we welcome all of our parts. We try to comprehend them and value their attempts to assist us. We build a caring and trusting relationship with each part, then take efforts to relieve it of its responsibilities so it can function properly.

"Protectors" are the portions of the IFS system that you normally meet initially when investigating yourself. Their goal is to manage the earth and safeguard the exiles from suffering. Young child portions known as "exiles" are in anguish from the past. Bill had a protector in the case above who was competitive and judgemental of others. It was attempting to make Bill feel superior in order to protect him from an exile portion that felt insufficient.

Because of what has happened to them in the past, parts take on these dysfunctional roles. Exiles carry the grief and weight of their childhoods with them. Protectors take on duties in order to keep you safe from the exiles' pain.

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